The last few weeks and months have been intense right? We’re all in the middle of an unknown zone, trying to understand where everything is going, what we can do, and who we are in the middle of this historical time.
Something happened to me yesterday and I wanted to share it with you, thinking it might help.
The last 8 months have been a hard time for me. I broke up with the woman that I thought was the love of my life. I was devastated, and everything that I built over the last 7 years entirely collapsed when my heart broke. I had to start over very quickly and got a new job, a new flat, new friends, I had to start over, to start building myself again.
And there comes the struggle. You know how it is when you’re going through something that really shatters you: 3 steps forward, 2 steps backward.
Globally, I was doing quite a great job considering how I was feeling, how I felt. I had a nice evolution over 5 months.
And a lot of shit happened, coronavirus, quarantine, got sick, lost some relationships, the world is falling apart, you know the drill. And that’s where I lost it. I am an hypersensitive person, with a lot of empathy, and I was just starting to build my protections again, so I just got overwhelmed with everything. And maybe you have too.
The last 3 weeks I was feeling completely down. I lost motivation for work, to read, to write, to see my friend, to get out. Everything that usually kept me passionate was just not a useful. I wasn’t able to meditate, to draw, to do sport. I was just out of everything and I really was thinking that nothing mattered.
I was hitting a dead-end and nothing that usually helps me in time of anxiety was working. I started to think about seeing a psychologist. I have never seen one, but I’m very open about it as I know how helpful it can be. And it seems that our generation has less struggle saying “I see a psychologist” than the previous ones.
Let’s move to the point
Yesterday evening I was zombie-scrolling my social media feed (hooked on TikTok, you know how it is), and I got a notification on Facebook so I went. And I saw an ad about an online service that allows you to talk to a therapist from your phone as you would text a friend.
I started filling the preliminary elements and questions, narrowing the situation to find the perfect therapist to talk to me. Is it an anxiety-related problem? Is it depression? A relationship issue? and so on.
And finally, the last thing to do was “ Explain shortly why you need to talk to a therapist”. You know, as we can see in movies, this moment when the patient sits and the therapist asks “ — so, why are you here today?” or something like that. If you’ve ever thought about seeing a therapist, you’ve probably already imagined this moment, what you would say.
Well, that’s what I recommend you do. Write it down. Start writing you story as if you were asked “why are you here today?” or “why would you need to see a therapist?”.
Start the way you want and whenever you want. You can start chronologically if it’s easier, from the start or from the last thing that happened to you. Write down what your life is right now. Tell everything as if you were totally opening yourself without judging. You should not be afraid to write or say anything, there’s no judgment implied.
It is just about writing your story and realizing that YOU write your story. You are the creator of your story, the author and the main character.
I cannot anticipate what it will bring you. But it will certainly help you understand a few things or think about others differently. It will give perspective as you put everything out of your head and you make it into reality in another way.
When I wrote everything yesterday, I was frantically writing everything down when I suddenly stopped because everything started to feel different, I had another perspective about everything and understood some things which now allows me to change what I need to change.
I have the habit to write, I write for a living, and also for pleasure. But I do not always write in the same way, and with the same idea in mind, or impersonating the same thing. That’s what makes the difference.
You may be used to write, but have you ever tried writing with this idea in mind? Give it a try and let me know.
If you’re hardly struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out to a loved one if you think they can hear you and help you, or directly to a professional.
You matter. It’s ok to need help. We’re all human and learning through everything.